


What is an Ishimaru?

by Juzosuke-Ishimondo (Aster_Nightingale)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Ishimaru Kiyotaka as Ishida | Kiyondo, M/M, No beta! We die like men! Kind of? This is on tumblr too...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26360257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aster_Nightingale/pseuds/Juzosuke-Ishimondo
Summary: What is an Ishimaru but a failure?
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	What is an Ishimaru?

What is an Ishimaru but a failure? Ishida snarled at the thought as he paced around his room. Was it his? It was now. Ishimaru didn't exist anymore. It wasn't like he could complain. He sighed. He wanted to talk to bro again, but Kirigiri and bro said they needed him for something important. 

He laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. White, pure white. If he had to describe his life from before as anything, it would be stark white marred with dirt. White, threadbare shirts stained with dirt that other kids threw or kicked him, bonus points if rocks were in it. White paper covered in smears of graphite from erasing wrong answer after wrong answer until it was good enough for anyone to even look at only to be wrong when he presented it. White like his family name was until his grandfather ruined it and plunged their family into a cycle of too much work and too much debt and not enough time. No, there was never enough time. There was too much broken. There was too much debt. There was too much, and it cost them his mother, their lives, and everything else that would make life colorful and meaningful instead of that dirtied shade of white that his entire childhood was colored in for years. 

But it was fine! Ishimaru had no chance of fixing any of it, and he wasn't Ishimaru anymore. He was Ishida! He had Mondo with him now, and he could do anything. Mondo...he was so much stronger than Ishimaru had been even if Mondo had said otherwise before. Mondo overcame his unfortunate circumstances, he had friends, he was kind, he was likable, he didn't wait for his someday and made it today, he wasn't weak like Ishimaru was. No, Mondo wasn't weak like he...like Kiyotaka was. Kiyotaka who cried constantly, Kiyotaka who everyone hated, Kiyotaka who worked and worked and worked for a goal that wasn't even possible because he was so damn unlikable. No, Ishida was better...right? He could fix it...right?

But he couldn't save Mondo. He couldn't stop him from killing Chihiro. He couldn't stop him from being executed. He could only watch and scream and cry as his one and only friend, the only person who understood and cared about him aside from his father get turned into butter and eaten by a build-a-bear reject. He couldn't do a thing. He was too weak to do anything, and it hurt. It hurt so much to close his eyes and see it. It hurt so much knowing someone like that, someone he admired and loved more than anything else was dead. Maybe...maybe he was no better than-

He wanted to scream as he closed his eyes and gripped at his hair. He wasn't Ishimaru anymore! He wasn't him! He wasn't weak! He was better than he was before, but he was still...him. He was still partially Ishimaru. He would always be. No matter how hard he tried, he could never really emulate Mondo Oowada. He couldn't. He was too...Ishimaru to do that, but he'd do better. Screw those damn rules! Mondo didn't listen to half of them, so he wouldn't either. Mondo was all that mattered to him anyway, so unless something happened to him again, he would be okay, right? Right. He'd protect his bro this time. This time, nothing would take them apart. 

Later that day, bro went missing. It tore him apart inside, and he and what's his face went at each other's throats instantly. He wasn't sure why virgin was his insult for him. That kind of thing didn't interest him...much. He liked...nevermind. No use thinking about that. He may have been a sad, sad man, but he was above such acts of degeneracy, and considering what he almost caught the other doing to the laptop, he wished the other could say the same. 

He searched the entire school away from Hifumi. He looked and looked and looked and nearly broke down sobbing when he couldn't find him! He lost him...he lost his bro again. He felt tears come to his eyes, and they would have fallen had Ludenburg or whatever her name handed him a note. According to the note, she found bro, but she could only give it to him at night at the physics lab. He was giddy all through the day. He'd have bro back! He could hardly wait!

If he were Ishimaru, he would still have been oblivious to a trap, but he wouldn't have been standing in physics lab storage closet that night. He wouldn't be bleeding out on the floor with his skull smashed in. He wouldn't be dead. No, if he were Ishimaru, he would be asleep in bed dreading the next day without his bro. But he wasn't Ishimaru, he was Ishida. And what was Ishida but a tragedy in the making? 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, please leave a comment or a kudos. Thanks for reading. ^_^


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